BLASPHEMY AT ITS FINEST:
Geez if you believe in Honkus.
Christ died for my sins,
descended into Hell,
and rose again on the third day,
in accordance with the Scriptures,
and all I got was this lousy t-shirt.
I once believed in god,
but I'm all better now.
Why be born again
when you can just grow up?
A zealot's stones may break my bones,
but gods can never hurt me.
Evolution is both fact and theory.
Creationism is neither.
JESUS IS COMING!
Are you gonna spit or swallow?
Although it is said that
faith can move mountains,
experience has shown that
dynamite works far better.
A mystic is someone
who wants to understand the universe,
but is too damned lazy to study physics.
Wanna know what happens after death?
Go look at some dead things.
My church welcomes all denominations,
but it really prefers tens and twenties.
Abstinence makes the Church grow fondlers.
Jesus goes into a hotel to check in.
The clerk tells him
it'll be fifty bucks for the night.
Jesus checks his pockets,
and finds that he has no money.
Finally, he pulls out three nails,
puts them on the counter, and says,
"I don't have any cash,
but I do have these three nails --
can ya put me up for the night?"
WWJD -- for a Klondike Bar?
If God dropped acid, would he see people?
I am a dyslexic and an agnostic;
I stay awake at night
pondering the existence of a dog.
Nine out of ten Catholic priests
who have tried Camels
find that they prefer young boys.
Thesaurus listing for "Fundamentalists":
Sheeple, Lemmings (See also Hypocrisy and Gullibility).
Jesus got nailed to a cross.
Mary just got nailed.
Three Basic Religious Truths:
1. The Jews don't recognize Jesus
as the Messiah.
2. The Protestants don't recognize the Pope
as the head of the Church.
3. Two Baptists in a liquor store
don't recognize each other at all.
Blessed are the censors,
for they shall inhibit the earth.
The last time religion ruled supreme,
they called it the Dark Ages.
Had Jesus been impaled on a stake,
would Christians shove sticks up their asses?
The Religious Right:
Proof that one should never underestimate
the power of stupid people in large groups. Current Mood: amused